Chapter One

It was a dark and stormy night. JR the Minnow swam nervously around his home in the ocean. He heard rumors. Rumors of the return. Return of the sharks. Sharks that were tigers. Tiger sharks. They were the good of the ocean. They stamped out evils, like minnows. JR feared for his very life. He sent out a message to the other minnows, to have them meet together that very evening to discuss what to do.

Fronk the Minnow fought his way through the sea of wrath he called his home. He had to get to JR the Minnow's home. There had been a Summons. He did not know why, but if there were not great good abroad, it would not have been called.

Pete the Minnow was the last to arrive. Everyminnow looked up when they saw him.

"Pete the Minnow!" exclaimed JR the Minnow, "You're late! Don't you know the meaning of a Summons?!" Pete hung his head in shame.

"I apologize to the Council of Summons. I ask that they forgive me." JR nodded slowly.

"Alright. We won't demote you to Plankton. This time. Don't ever be late again." The Four commenced their meeting, and discussed the danger and perils that lay before them. It was already in the wee hours of morning when Helmut the Minnow slunk home from the Summons.

All these rumors, he thought, Nothing good can come of them. If the Sharks are truly abroad there will be much trouble and confusion. He shook his slimy head and swimmed home.

The next day, the Four began building a barricade around the Fortress of Rabble. By the time it was complete there was a large crowd of sea life gathered outside the Fortress.

"What are you silly fools doing?!" cried Hanna the Fish. JR the Minnow swam to the peak of the Fortress and raised his voice so that all of the onlookers could hear.

"My Sea Creatures! The time has come to unite, one and all, to battle the Good that has come! It is time for force de frappe! " The crowed eyed him.

"Battle Good?" Barb the Octopus asked incredulously. "Why?" JR the Minnow threw his head back.

"That is the only way to rid ourselves of the Tiger Shark Menaces!" he shouted. The crowd grew excited.

"The Tiger Sharks are returning?"

"If the Sharks return all will be right again!"

"Only for the Sharks will I serve!" The excited crowd swam off and began making plans to welcome the Tiger Sharks at their return. The Four watched them leave, dumbfounded. Fronk looked at JR in confusion.

"I thought everyfish was against the Sharks." JR shook his head, frowning.

"The sea is full of idiots."

Chapter 2

Porthos-Brian the Tiger Shark, D'Artagnan-Alisha the Tiger Shark, and Aramis-Ashley the Tiger Shark swam lazily through the sea-green ocean. They joked back and forth and paused often to view the scenic ocean.

"Where exactly are we going now?" asked Aramis-Ashley the Tiger Shark.

"To Sea-attle, of couse!" cried jovial Porthos-Brian the Tiger Shark. D'Artagnan-Alisha the Tiger Shark nodded, lost in thought.

"There may be resistance in Sea-attle," she said thoughtfully. "I have heard rumors from some fish."

"What sort of rumors?" Aramis-Ashley the Tiger Shark asked.

"I have heard the Minnows have begun another uprising. They will certainly have heard of our approach towards their area - we have made no secret of our journey. They will not submit to the Great Elders easily," she said.

"Then we will smash them as if they were eggs and we a skillet!" shouted Porthos-Brian the Tiger Shark. "They are small and puny, and we are big and great! We will convince them of their loyalty the the Great Elders!" Aramis-Ashley the Tiger Shark eyed Porthos-Brian the Tiger Shark.

"And how are we to do that?" she asked him. Porthos-Brian the Tiger Shark grinned.

"You can do more with a firm word and lots of teeth than with just a firm word!" His companions laughed.

"Porthos-Brian the Tiger Shark," said D'Artagnan-Alisha the Tiger Shark, "I believe that were you not a Tiger Shark, you would still be most conniving." Porthos-Brian the Tiger Shark laughed.

"I expect you're right." They swam along for awhile longer, and eventually came across a cloud of Plankton.

"Hello, hello, hello!" they cried to the Tiger Sharks in their high voices. The Sharks smiled.

"Hello Small Ones," they said.

"I am Maggie the Plankton!" shouted one.

"I am Michael the Plankton!" cried another.

"And I am Amanda the Plankton!"

"I am Benjaman the Plankton!" The Tiger Sharks looked at each other and smiled to themselves.

"We are the Tiger Sharks," said D'Artagnan-Alisha the Tiger Shark, "the Royal Messengers and Defenders of the Court, and Ambassadors of the Great Elders. We come here seeking the Pledge of Loyalty to the Great Ones from the inhabitants of Sea-attle. What do you swear to do for the Great Elders and their Loyalists?" she asked, in accordance with tradition.

"Ich dien! " they each cried in the shrill voices.

"Ich dien!"

"Ich dien!"

"Ich dien!" The Tiger Sharks nodded.

"Then serve well. Live long and prosper!" The Plankton swam in circles, and then swam off dizzily. The Tiger Sharks looked at each and laughed. They then resumed their swimming towards Sea-attle.

Meanwhile, in Sea-attle, Helmut the Minnow was in deep thought.

All of the fish are against us. Is is possible they know something we don't? Is it possible we are wrong? Or are they are as JR the Minnow says, fools? He sighed, and swam back inside the Fortress of Rabble, confused and upset. He suddenly laughed to himself. It is as I predicted. Confusion and trouble. And the Tiger Sharks aren't even here yet!

"HELMUT THE MINNOW!!!" JR the Minnow bellowed. Helmut the Minnow swam to him as quickly as he could. All the other minnows were present in the Council of Summons Room he noticed.

"Helmut the Minnow, you are late! Don't you realise we have much evil plotting to do! We must astonish the Sea Creatures with our dastardliness!" Helmut the Minnow nodded in agreement.

"Of course."

Chapter III

Hanna the Fish was fixing herself a mid-morning snack when there was a pound on her door.

Who could that be? She wondered. Not many people come to visit this far out of Sea-attle. I'm just barely on the outskirts, after all. But there are always quite a few rogues passing through, looking to stir up trouble. Minions of those horrid Minnows, no doubt. The knocking grew more insistant.

"Is anyone home?" called a noble voice. Hanna swam to the door and opened it. She smiled and said in a warm voice, "I am so terribly sorry for keeping you waitin-." She froze when she recognised her visitors.

"Tiger Sharks!" she gasped in astonishment. "The rumors were true! You've finally returned!" The three Tiger Sharks smiled at her surprise. "But why me?" she asked. "I'm only a Fish. The trouble is up at the Fortress of Rabble." D'Artagnan-Alisha the Tiger Shark swam forward.

"We are the Tiger Sharks, the Royal Messengers and Defenders of the Court, and Ambassadors of the Great Elders. We come here seeking the Pledge of Loyalty to the Great Ones from the inhabitants of Sea-attle. What do you swear to do for the Great Elders and their Loyalists?" she asked, in accordance with tradition. A smile spread over Hanna the Fish's worried face.

"Ich dien!" She said happily. D'Artagnan-Alisha the Tiger Shark smiled.

"A Loyalist from days long gone. You are a good Fish, Hanna the Fish. The Sea could use more Fish like you."

"Oh, but there are more!" Hanna the Fish cried. "Nina the Lobster, and Barb the Octopus are both still loyal!"

"Wonderful," said Aramis-Ashley the Tiger Shark. "Can you tell us where they live?"

"Better!" said Hanna the Fish, "I can show you! They are good friends of mine."

"Excellent," said Porthos-Brian the Tiger Shark, "Let's go!" The three Tiger Sharks and one Fish swam a few yard to a small Dartin . Just inside an Octopus and a Lobster were chatting. They looked up when Hanna and the Tiger Sharks entered. The two gasped.

"You brought them to us!" exclaimed Barb the Octopus. Nina the Lobster looked at the Tiger Sharks with tears in her beady little eyes.

"Your kind has been sorely missed in these parts," she told them. D'Artagnan-Alisha the Tiger Shark nodded formally.

"We know. We regret we have been away on other business and have not returned before. However, we are here now, and we will conquer the Minnows once and for all. First though, we must conduct some business. We are the Tiger Sharks, the Royal Messengers and Defenders of the Court, and Ambassadors of the Great Elders. We come here seeking the Pledge of Loyalty to the Great Ones from the inhabitants of Sea-attle. What do you swear to do for the Great Elders and their Loyalists?" she asked, in accordance with tradition. Barb the Octopus, and Nina the Lobster smiled broadly.

"Ich dien!" they both shouted. Aramis-Ashley the Tiger Shark grinned at Porthos-Brian the Tiger Shark.

"Lovely Plankton, Fish, Octopus, and Lobsters they have here in Sea-attle. Lovely."

After everyone in the Dartin Pledged their Loyalty the Tiger Sharks, Nina the Lobster, Barb the Octopus, and Hanna the Fish swam to the centre of Sea-attle. They viewed the Fortress of Rabble with distaste as Nina the Lobster gave an overview of what the Minnows had been up to recently.

"As soon as they completed the barricade JR the Minnow tried to gather support from the civilians, but no one was interested. At least no one made any moves to join the Minnows then and there. Since then we haven't seen much of them. Pretty often their minions go to and from the Fortress of Rabble, but there haven't been any major public disturbances." The Tiger Sharks nodded. Aramis-Ashley the Tiger Shark looked at Porthos-Brian the Tiger Shark who was grinning and had an odd gleam in his eyes.

"What's with you, Porthos-Brian the Tiger Shark?" Porthos-Brian the Tiger Shark's grinned grew broaded.

"I have a a plan so cunning you could put a tail on it and call it a weasel!" Aramis-Ashley the Tiger Shark gave Porthos-Brian the Tiger Shark a strange look.

"And why would you do that?" Porthos-Brian the Tiger Shark grinned.

"Oh, I find it attracts….um, nevermind." Aramis-Ashley the Tiger Shark frowned.

"And what's with the gleam in your eyes? Since when did you get a gleam in your eyes?" Porthos-Brian the Tiger Shark shrugged and grinned some more.

"Gollum," he said simply. Aramis-Ashley the Tiger Shark looked at him as if he were nuts.

"What?" Porthos-Brian the Tiger Shark sighed.

"Nevermind. Just forget about it," and the gleam in his eye disappeared.

"Hey! That was cool!" exclaimed Barb the Octopus. Porthos-Brian the Tiger Shark grinned again.

"Yeah, well, I can't help it that I'm handsome…debonair…suave…" Aramis-Ashley the Tiger Shark snorted.

"And full of yourself!"

"Do you two mind?!" said D'Artagnan-Alisha the Tiger Shark said. "I'm trying to come up with a plan to conquer the Minnows!"

"Oh, don't bother," said Porthos-Brian the Tiger Shark dismissively. "I already said I had a plan so cunning you could put a tail on it and call it a weasel." Aramis-Ashley the Tiger Shark ceased her brow.

"But why would you want-"

"Don't even think about starting that again!" admonished D'Artagnan-Alisha the Tiger Shark. "Now, Porthos-Brian the Tiger Shark, what is this plan of yours?" Porthos-Brian the Tiger Shark grinned.

"Let's just say I wasn't born at the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian." Nina the Lobster, Hanna the Fish, and Barb the Octopus looked horrified.

"You're going to eat them?!" whispered Barb the Octopus. The Tiger Sharks ignored the horrified expressions.

"You know," said D'Artagnan-Alisha the Tiger Shark, "that just might be the tactic we need to conquer. It could work. It very well could." Aramis-Ashley the Tiger Shark nodded.

"You know, Porthos-Brian the Tiger Shark, that's a good idea." Porthos-Brian the Tiger Shark grinned smugly.

"I know."

Chapter For

The next day the Tiger Sharks went to visit Mia the See Star. She was the only living See Star, one from the Beginning of Time, when the Great Ones were young and conqered the sea to claim and rule it themselves. She could remember the Great War, and the peace and prosperity the Great Ones brought afterwards. She could also see pieces of the future, hazes. She knew a great many things, and was very wise.

"So, Honorable Ones ," she said, "What is it you seek from me?"

"Two things," said D'Artagnan-Alisha the Tiger Shark, "A Pledge of Loyalty, and some advice."

"Very well," Mia the See Star agreed, "Begin."

"We are the Tiger Sharks, the Royal Messengers and Defenders of the Court, and Ambassadors of the Great Elders. We come here seeking the Pledge of Loyalty to the Great Ones from the inhabitants of Sea-attle. What do you swear to do for the Great Elders and their Loyalists?" she asked, in accordance with tradition. Mia the See Star smiled faintly, remembering days long gone by.

"Ich dien," she said softly. The three Tiger Sharks smiled.

"Good. Now, what can you tell us about the Minnows? We need to know what tactics will be effective. Our intent is to end the Minnow Rebellion once and for all. If we must force them into an involuntary Pledge of Loyalty, we will. If we must end their race, we will. But this will be the final uprising." Mia the See Star looked slightly unnerved at the force of D'Artagnan-Alisha the Tiger Shark's words.

"It is the only way," Aramis-Ashley said gently. "It has already gone on far too long." Mia the See Star nodded slowly.

"Yes, I know. I have seen things in the Glass that foretell of this day, and the ones coming shortly after. It will not be swift. There will be many complications you do not expect. But do not dishearten. You will also find a friend in the unlikeliest place. And when things are the darkest, and it sems like all is lost, you will find you have made a strong ally." Porthos-Brian the Tiger Shark spoke up.

"This friend you say we will make - is it also the ally?" Mia the See Star thought for a moment and then shook her head.

"I do not know. I could not see if there were any connections or not."

"Maybe if you looked in the Glass now you could see things more clearly," suggested Aramis-Ashley the Tiger Shark. Mia the See Star nodded and swam over to the Glass, behind a small veil, which she pulled aside. She gazed into the Glass for a long time. The three Tiger Sharks could see nothing of…well, anything, but Mia the See Star appeared fascinated. At last she turned back to them.

"The friend and ally are not one, but they have some sort of connection. But it could be merely bothing knowing the three of you." She took a deep breath. "And someone will be betrayed before this whole ordeal is over." The three Tiger Sharks looked at each other in silence. At last D'Artagnan-Alisha the Tiger Shark spoke.

"Well. We best get busy. Mia the See Star, thank you for all your help. The Great Ones will know of your services." Then the Tiger Sharks turned and swam away.

Chapter 2+3

Helmut the Minnow was on guard duty just inside the barricade when it began. All the inhabitants of Sea-attle gathered in front of the Fortress of Rabble. He watched them curiously, but without fear. It was not an angry mob. In fact, the citizens were gathered quietly, talking softly amongst themselves. A few seemed jovial. There did seem to be much more interest towards the edge of the crowd, away from the Fortress of Rabble. But it was too far away to see what was going on. Fronk the Minnow slunk to Helmut the Minnow's side.

"Have they been there long?" he asked.

"All morning," replied Helmut the Minnow. Fronk the Minnows shook his head.

"They can't be there for evil purposes." Helmut the Minnow nodded.

"I know. But they aren't doing anything good either. JR the Minnow will just be annoyed if we inform him of citizens doing nothing." He yawned. "Well, I'm off. Maintain speed and course." He swam away. Fronk the Minnow watched him leave, and shook his head. Helmut the Minnow was getting weirder every day.

Helmut the Minnow swam along the edge of the barricade. The gathering puzzled him. Especially the quiet commotion towards the back. At last he snuck out of the barricade through a secret exit, and made his way through the crowd. At the very back was a platform. He gasped in astonishment - a Tiger Shark was speaking! He swam closer, to hear. He listened, captivated, as the main Tiger Shark spoke of the horrible ways of the Minnows, and why everycreature in Sea-attle, and everywhere else in the sea deserved freedom from opression. Another Tiger Shark often interupted, shouting of how they would conquer the Minnows, and the third Tiger Shark scolded the second. When the speech was over Helmut the Minnow came out of his daze. He watched as the Tiger Sharks retired to a tent behind the platform. He swam eagerly to the tent's entrance, which was gaurded by a Lobster, and an Octopus.

"Please, please, may I speak with the Tiger Sharks?" he begged. The two looked at each other. The Lobster eyed him with her beady little eyes.

"I don't think that's such a good idea." The Octopus thought for a moment.

"You know Nina," she said, "D'Artagnan-Alisha the Tiger Shark said everyone deserved a fair chance."

"I know that Barb the Octopus," Nina the Lobster said. "But we cannot grant everycreature an audience with the Tiger Sharks." Barb the Octopus nodded slowly, and then looked at Helmut the Minnow.

"Why should we grant you an audience, instead of someone else?" Helmut the Minnow took a deep breath.

"When I was young I revered the Tiger Sharks. I want to be like them. I can never be like them if I am not given a chance to change my ways. And I come on official business. About the Minnows. I need this. Please," he said fervently. Nina the Lobster looked at him closely.

"Are you crying?" she asked in amazment. Helmut the Minnow scowled and rubbed his eyes.

"Allergies!" he denied. "Allergies!"

"You are!" Nina the Lobster cackled, "You're crying!" Barb the Octopus shot a dirty look at Nina the Lobster, and then turned to Helmut the Minnow.

"We will grant you your audience. Follow me." She nudged aside the tent flap and swam in.

"Ahem," she cleared her voice, "Honorable Ones. I, Barb the Octopus, and Nina the Lobster bring you a creature seeking an audience." She nudged Helmut the Minnow. "What did you say your name was?" Helmut the Minnow swallowed nervously.

"Melmut," he whispered. Nina the Lobster looked at him dubiously.

"Melmut?" she asked. Helmut the Minnow laughed nervously.

"No, no, of course not. My name is Helmut."

"Helmut what?" asked Barb the Octopus gently.

"Um…um…um…Helmut…ah..Helmut the..ah…ah…" Everyone was staring at him. "Helmut the Minnow," he said miserably. There was complete silence for what seemed like eternity. Then Nina the Lobster exploded. (Not literally, of course.)

"What?!?!?!" she shrieked. "A minnow?! A MINNOW?!?! I let a MINNOW in here?!?!" Barb the Octopus pulled Nina the Lobster out of the tent, leaving the Tiger Sharks and Melmut, I mean, Helmut the Minnow inside. Barb the Octopus poked Nina the Lobster.

"Are you insane?" she hissed. "Exploding (Not literally, of course.) like that in front of the Tiger Sharks?!" Nina snorted.

"Like you did any better. You let the scum IN there!" The two glared at each other for a moment. Then Nina frowned.

"I wonder what he could possibly have wanted." Barb the Octopus shook her head slowly.

"I have no idea."

ChApTeR sIx

"Get him out," said Aramis-Ashley the Tiger Shark in a cold, hard voice. Porthos-Brian the Tiger Shark nodded in agreement.

"Get the sniveling mass out of here." The two looked at D'Artagnan-Alisha the Tiger Shark for her nod. She didn't give it. Instead she swam slowly around Helmut the Minnow.

"Why did you come here?" she asked. "Were you sent as a spy? Are you a decoy? Are you going to explode? (Literally, of course. You know, like a bomb.)" Helmut the Minnow shook his head vigorously.

"No, no, nothing like that! I can explain! Honest!" D'Artagnan-Alisha the Tiger Shark looked at him hard.

"Then do," she calmly challanged him. Helmut the Minnow nodded.

"Yes, yes, of course. It all started when I was a young Minnow. When I was young I revered freedom, peace. But I am a Minnow. My family took great pains to make sure I remembered that. I grew up bitter and lonely. At last I ws old enough to join the Plotting Minnows. I've never truly been able to find joy in it. But it was the only thing I knew. Until I heard your speech. Please, let me join you. I know what the Minnows are planning. I know how they will react. I can help. I don't want to be a Minnow anymore." The three Tiger Sharks looked at him for a long moment. At last they all nodded. D'Artagn-Alisha the Tiger Shark swam forward.

"We are the Tiger Sharks, the Royal Messengers and Defenders of the Court, and Ambassadors of the Great Elders. We come here seeking the Pledge of Loyalty to the Great Ones from the inhabitants of Sea-attle. What do you swear to do for the Great Elders and their Loyalists?" she asked, in accordance with tradition. Helmut the Minnow frowned.

"What should I say?" Porthos-Brian the Tiger Sharks swam over to Helmut the Minnow.

"Ooa tay goo siam ," he whispered to Helmut the Minnow. Helmut the Minnow looked at Porthos-Brian the Tiger Shark, who gave him a reassuring nod and quick smile. Helmut the Minnow took a deep breath.

"OOA TAY GOO SIAM!" he shouted at the top of his gills. D'Artagnan-Alisha the Tiger Shark laughed. Porthos-Brian the Tiger Shark rolled on the sand, he was laughing so hard. And Aramis-Ashley the Tiger Shark gave Helmut the Minnow a weird look.

"Helmut the Minnow," she said, "You are not a Goose, you are a Minnow." Helmut the Minnow turned scarlet, realising what he had said. And D'Artagnan-Alisha the Tiger Shark, and Porthos-Brian the Tiger Sharks laughed even harder. At last they calmed down.

"What you are supposed to say is "Ich dien."," D'Artagnan-Alisha the Tiger Shark informed him. Helmut the Minnow nodded.

"Ich dien."

Helmut the Minnow (Now known as Helmut the UnMinnow, since he had turned to Good.) spent the next few days planning with the Tiger Sharks. At last they were ready to attack. Early in the morning it began.

Chptr. Sev.

Nina the Lobster, Barb the Octopus, and Hanna the Fish snuck through the crowd, and sidled along the barricade. Hanna the Fish distracted Pete the Minnow, who was on guard, and Barb the Octopus wrapped herself around Pete the Minnow. Meanwhile, the Tiger Sharks swam around the baricade, and slipped over the edge. On the other side of the Fortress of Rabble Barb the Octopus pulled Pete the Minnow inside the barricade, and forced him to open the main gate to the Fortress of Rabble. She then hit him against the wall, leaving him unconcious. Nina the Lobster, and Hanna the Fish guarded the entrance, while Barb the Octopus kept everyone inside at a distance, by threatening to squirt them. Soon the Tiger Sharks arrived, Aramis-Ashley the Tiger Shark trailing behind, herding creatures they had taken captive. Nina the Lobster, Barb the Octopus, and Hanna the Fish let them enter the Fortess, and the Tiger Sharks went into the Counil Room. Their captives went first, and then the Tiger Sharks stormed in. They sealed off the exit, and began fighting for control. D'Artagnan-Alisha the Tiger Shark grabbed a swordfish and demanded to know who was in charge and where they were. Porthos-Brian the Tiger Shark swam wildly around the room with his jaws wide open, chasing the creatures inside, frequently shouting, "I love Minnows! They taste just like Chicken!" Aramis-Ashley the Tiger Shark was torn between gathering everyone at one side of the room, and yelling back to Porthos-Brian the Tiger Shark, "What the bloody heck is a Chicken?!"

After two hours had passed, the crowd outside the Fortress of Rabble began to get nervous. Michael the Plankton was convinced something was wrong. He gathered his closest Plankton-Friends together for a quick meeting.

"I am convinced something is wrong," Michael the Plankton said.

"You're convinced something is wrong?" repeated Benjaman the Plankton.

"Yes," said Michael the Plankton, "I am."

"You are?" asked Benjaman the Plankton. Michael the Plankton shot him a dirty look.

"Yes", he said, clenching his teeth, "I am."

"Just making sure," said Benjaman the Plankton innocently.

"So what should we do?" asked Maggie the Plankton.

"Nothing. I don't want to," said Amanda the Plankton. "I want to go play."

"Well," Michael the Plankton informed her, "We don't care. They need our help in there." The other two agreed. "Alright," Michael the Plankton said, "Here's what we do. We split the crowd into four groups. Each of us leads a group and we surround the Fortress of Rabble. We attack, and enter. Then everyone splits up and we come to the rescue!" Amanda the Plankton frowned.

"We would be acting like we are big fish." Michael the Plankton nodded.

"You're right. But look around. All the leaders are gone. Someone has to do it."

"Someone does?" asked Benjaman the Plankton. Then Maggie the Plankton spoke up.

"There's one leader left! Helmut the UnMinnow is still here!"

"Oh no you don't!" exclaimed Amanda the Plankton. "He didn't get to go to make sure he won't double-cross us!"

"We don't have a choice," Michael the Plankton said crossly. "He's the only one who knows his way around in there. We either take the risk, or lose without a chance." After a few more minutes of bickering Michael the Plankton got his way, and Benjaman went to get Helmut the UnMinnow. He returned soon, and Michael the Plankton, with Helmut the Minnow's help, organised the crowd into four groups. They surrounded the Fortress of Rabble, and stormed in.

Amanda the Plankton's fourth of the crowd had some difficulty once in. There were almost immediately stopped by Fronk the Minnow. Amanda the Plankton, already in quite a foul mood, stalked over to him, oblivious to his protests.

"You cannot pass here!" he insisted . Amanda the Plankton snorted.

"Fronk the Minnow, Fronk the Minnow, Fronk the Minnow! Stop this nonsense!" Fronk the Minnow let them by.

Once inside, Helmut the UnMinnow went straight to the secret entrance to JR the Minnow's secret room. He opened the secret door and cleared his throat. JR the Minnow spun around and his eyes widened.

"Who..who are you?!" he exclaimed. "And how did you find the secret entrance to my secret room?! How did you know how to open the secret door?!" Helmut the UnMinnow grinned cockily.

"I'm Helmut the UnMinnow, the Creature Formerly Known as Helmut the Minnow." JR the Minnow shook his head wildly.

"Huh-uh! You're no Minnow, or UnMinnow, or whatever! You're…you're a Trout!!!" Helmut the UnMinnow looked down at himself. He was! He was a Trout!

"Oh my!" He exclaimed. Then he turned serious.

"You're coming with me. You're going to stop your evil minions, and you're going to turn yourself in, and you're going to reveal your twisted plots!" JR the Minnow stuck his nose in the air.

"I will not! Lizard's legs, and a spider head - if I tattle-tell, I'll die till I'm dead!"

"That can be arranged," said Porthos-Brian the Tiger Shark, who had just appeared at the secret doorway. JR the Minnow scowled.

"This is ridiculous!" he muttered.

"You have the right to your opinions, you know," said Porthos-Brian the Tiger Shark, "We just don't want to hear them." JR the Minnow snorted.

"Oh, shut your trap, Prickly-Mouth! I'm not going anywhere! I have the right to a lawyer, you know!" Porthos-Brian the Tiger Shark glared at him.

"MOVE IT, CREEPY!" JR the Minnow winced, and swam out of the secret room.

Ch'pt'r E'ght

The next day the Tiger Sharks held a formal ceremony, to honor the heros, and dishonor the villians. When she heard what all that JR the Minnow had plotted, she nearly exploded. (Not literally, of course.)

"You, you EEL in Minnow's clothing!!!" she hissed. Then she banned him from the Fortress of Rabble, forcing him to live in a pretty pink corral house. Then she dismissed him.

"I will not just be dismissed!" exclaimed JR the Minnow. D'Artagnan-Alisha the Tiger Shark shot him a look that would have made Amanda the Plankton tremble.

"You will go in peace, or in pieces. I do not care which," she coldly informed him. He left in peace.

Next Michael the Plankton was called forward.

"Michael the Plankton," she said, "You have done everyone in Sea-attle a great service, for which we will all forever be in your debt. In an attempt to show our graditude, we wish to present to you the Plankton Bravery Award - showing that little guys can do big things too. It was only awarded one time before this, the circumstances remembered only but the Great Ones, and Mia the See Star. Be proud."

At last it was Helmut the Trout's turn.

"Well, my friend," said D'Artagnan-Alisha the Tiger Shark, "You have accomplished quite a bit in the last few days. We do not have an award for you, or anything like that. But we feel your new status is quite a reward in itself." Helmut the Trout smiled broadly.

"It's more than I hoped for!" he said happily.

And so ends this strange and twisted tail. There is yet only one thing to say. Do not pet a burning dog, and do not sit on a mad cat. I learned that the hard way.

The End.